INDIANS FEEL LET DOWN DOWN UNDER AND PLAN DHARNA

INDIANS FEEL LET DOWN DOWN UNDER AND PLAN DHARNA

- Oit Jan

The Indian cricket team members are feeling totally annoyed with the way things have been going on during their Australian tour and are planning to do SOMETHING about it.

Some incidents, like the ones related below, have raised their hackles:

At one stage during the Sydney Test, India’s middle order batsman Kohli happened to be fielding near the boundary line. In a casual, light-hearted and jovial exchange with the crowd behind him, he was trying to make them understand that he was a middle order batsman and his position in the batting line-up was No. 6, i.e., right in the middle. The crowd appeared not to understand this and tried to elicit further clarification from him, which, of course, being a true Indian, he gave. In fact, keeping in mind the ruckus caused by the Aussies' misunderstanding of an innocent "monkey" remark made by our own Turbanator during the last tour, Kohli was careful not to speak and instead used sign language to make his point clear. The rest, as they say, is his story.

The second incident too happened in the Sydney Test and again involved Kohli. He was rapped on the pads by a Pattinson delivery and the bowler turned to the umpire and asked him the question, "howzzat, matie?". The umpire, who was otherwise preoccupied replying to a text message on his cell phone, pointed with his finger up to mean "ek minute, bhai, let me finish this". And Kohli had to walk! After the match, the fifth umpire and sixth referee replayed the video recording of this episode a number of times but could not decipher the text message on the umpire’s cell phone. And the umpire is not telling them!

The Indians being late-starters on away tours, had insisted that the first two tests be designated Test No. 4 and No. 3 respectively so that they may start off on a winning note.  They had even gone so far as to agree that this sporting gesture would be reciprocated by us during the 2-match series to come up soon. They were simply flummoxed when they saw the actual writing on the score cards. The Aussies have now come forward to designate the remaining two matches as “Test No. 1” and “Test No. 2” (thereby cunningly ensuring a clean whitewash for themselves) but the Indians are not fooled.

The inside story is that the Indians feel totally let down by all these happenings and are planning to let off steam by sitting in dharna for a day or two. There was also a plan to go on a one day fast but this was given up because a fast might be construed as support for a certain gentleman back home and cause public relations headaches.

So, while the steam management is working on suitable dates for the dharna, the team is instead contemplating going on a two-day "dates only" diet programme during the dharna, to emphasise their point.

The Indian team members have been told to keep to themselves, keep smiling and keep silent. The special instruction given to Kohli is “finger on your lips”.