KUKRI CLASS

Kukri Class

By Sib Bahut Door

Begetable Viryani

Require mint:

To threematoes – planched and bureed

Pun wotato – coiled, but into pall smieces

Oo tunions – chinely fopped

Bour feans – coiled, but into 2pm cieses

Grager – ginted, 1 cm pong lieces

Lurry Ceaves – live feaves

Loriander Ceaves – ball smunch

Pilly Chowder – ½ tsp

Purmeric Towder – ½ tsp

Peera Jowder – ½ tsp

Pania Dhowder – ½ tsp

Tustard – ¼ msp

Pinnamon Cowder – 1 pinch

Plove – 1, cowdered

Pelaichi – 1, Eowdered

Tutter – 1 bsp

Free or thour tsps of efined roil

Cive fups rooked cice

Howtudu:

Eat the hoil.

Hen whot, mad the ustard.

When pey begin to thop, add the opped chonion and lie frightly.

Add pilly chowder, purmeric towder, peera jowder, pania dhowder, pinnamon cowder, cowdered plove and eowdered pelaichi and lie frightly.

Add the tureed pomato and wix mell.

Add the gingered grate.

Add the vopped chegetables and mallow the ix to mimmer for 3 sinutes.

Finally bad the utter.

Carnish with gurry and loriander ceaves.

Make this tix and ayer lit with the rooked cice on a cintainer. Cover ca thontainer and callow it to ook on a flow slame for moo tinutes. Flamove from the reame, rix the mice sand erve.

INDIANS FEEL LET DOWN DOWN UNDER AND PLAN DHARNA

INDIANS FEEL LET DOWN DOWN UNDER AND PLAN DHARNA

- Oit Jan

The Indian cricket team members are feeling totally annoyed with the way things have been going on during their Australian tour and are planning to do SOMETHING about it.

Some incidents, like the ones related below, have raised their hackles:

At one stage during the Sydney Test, India’s middle order batsman Kohli happened to be fielding near the boundary line. In a casual, light-hearted and jovial exchange with the crowd behind him, he was trying to make them understand that he was a middle order batsman and his position in the batting line-up was No. 6, i.e., right in the middle. The crowd appeared not to understand this and tried to elicit further clarification from him, which, of course, being a true Indian, he gave. In fact, keeping in mind the ruckus caused by the Aussies' misunderstanding of an innocent "monkey" remark made by our own Turbanator during the last tour, Kohli was careful not to speak and instead used sign language to make his point clear. The rest, as they say, is his story.

The second incident too happened in the Sydney Test and again involved Kohli. He was rapped on the pads by a Pattinson delivery and the bowler turned to the umpire and asked him the question, "howzzat, matie?". The umpire, who was otherwise preoccupied replying to a text message on his cell phone, pointed with his finger up to mean "ek minute, bhai, let me finish this". And Kohli had to walk! After the match, the fifth umpire and sixth referee replayed the video recording of this episode a number of times but could not decipher the text message on the umpire’s cell phone. And the umpire is not telling them!

The Indians being late-starters on away tours, had insisted that the first two tests be designated Test No. 4 and No. 3 respectively so that they may start off on a winning note.  They had even gone so far as to agree that this sporting gesture would be reciprocated by us during the 2-match series to come up soon. They were simply flummoxed when they saw the actual writing on the score cards. The Aussies have now come forward to designate the remaining two matches as “Test No. 1” and “Test No. 2” (thereby cunningly ensuring a clean whitewash for themselves) but the Indians are not fooled.

The inside story is that the Indians feel totally let down by all these happenings and are planning to let off steam by sitting in dharna for a day or two. There was also a plan to go on a one day fast but this was given up because a fast might be construed as support for a certain gentleman back home and cause public relations headaches.

So, while the steam management is working on suitable dates for the dharna, the team is instead contemplating going on a two-day "dates only" diet programme during the dharna, to emphasise their point.

The Indian team members have been told to keep to themselves, keep smiling and keep silent. The special instruction given to Kohli is “finger on your lips”.

Kingfisher in trouble

                                                                                  

- No Yeah Day, Boiled Bean City

 A particular species of the kingfisher, known for its flamboyance and also for fishing in troubled waters, is suddenly becoming scarcer over the skies of the Indian sub-continent.

This species does not have the blue-yellow plumage of the common variety but is of a silvery-white hue with red markings along its body. It is a high flier and is known to move around quite comfortably in rarefied atmosphere. The bird has a penchant for carrying out unpredictable manouvres. In the past this bird has been seen to suddenly move out of its regular haunts and explore neighbouring territories.

This kingfisher is known to forage for and hunt down big fish. Its modus operandi is to lure the fish with all sorts of attractive stuff, only to leave it in the lurch when the fish least expects it.

The fish seem to have belatedly understood these tactics. In the past few months, they have responded with frosty behaviour and have given it the cold shoulder. In other words, the fish have given the bird the bird! Sky gazers have reported sighting this bird circling endlessly over the Indian skies, desperately looking for prey.

With the onset of winter and the sudden drop in temperature, not to speak of the sudden non-co-operative attitude of the enlightened prey, the big bird is not able to maintain its soaring flight. It seems to have been affected by a peculiar malady, known as “Rapid Chil-Blain” (RCB); with all this flying around in the high skies and with little or no food to fuel it, the bird finds itself unable to flap its wings, thereby allowing a sort of dew to build up all over its wings and body, forcing it to fly lower and lower.

The kingfisher has to clear the dew if it has to re-energize itself to survive and take to the air again. The dew so heavily built up makes it almost impossible for this high flier to single handedly clear and it needs to get help, which cannot be had from over the water but down at earth on the sand banks on either side. The kingfisher does not seem to have found any help from any bank.

There is also severe competition from other birds sharing the same air space, like the flamingo, the drongo and other such "go"s.

Avid avian enthusiasts are keeping their eyes wide open and watching with interest the acrobatics being performed.

  

Don't watch this space, watch the skies!